Faith, not miracle
When my previous company collapsed and I got a new job in KL, I regarded it as a miracle. God was truly care of me and He showed me His mercy. As my regard towards His miracle, I started to read the bible (well, it’s true. I’m Roman Catholic, but I rarely touch the bible until now).
So, after that miracle, I’m wondering whether I could have another miracle: “God, I don’t want to die and still being single. Spare me one girl that willing to spend her life with me..”
Although most of earth population never think that meeting your spouse is a miracle, I do (think it as miracle). In my conception, she was created for me and I was created for her. There’s only one being that can do that and meet us both.
But, guess what ? It never happens for me. At least not for the last 26-years of my life (and my younger brother will marry his girlfriend while he’s still 25 years. Life is so unfair).
Then, the other problems started to rolling out. My company in KL has started to collapse too (for one and a thousand reasons..believe me). I’m not sure how long I would stay here, nor where should I go from here. It’s all blank for me.
I’ve been asking for another miracle or any signs, but I’ve received none so far **where is God when we need Him anyway ?**
But today’s reading is really hit me on the spot.
Some of the scribes and Pharisees said to Jesus, “Teacher, we wish to see a sign from you.” He said to them in reply, “An evil and unfaithful generation seeks a sign, but no sign will be given it except the sign of Jonah the prophet.
If I said that if God didn’t give me any miracles, I wouldn’t consider Him as my God, I would be perfectly like those people. I felt very awful since I judge God based on what He gave me.
Maybe the correct one is to ask for faith, not miracles. I need a faith to believe that He’s there for me, and He’s been preparing the best for me.